Top Ten Intel Excuses for faulty Pentium

10. You mean 2.00000000 + 2.000000000 doesn't equal 3.999998456?

9. We felt sorry for all those competitors of ours who can't seem to sell anywhere near as many processors as we do.

8. Emulate THIS, Power PC!

7. Hey, look! We've got a built-in random number generator! (Quick, jack-up the price...)

6. The FDIV bug? That's nothing! Wait'll you see what happens when you try to run Windows 95!

5. We were trying to outfox AMD by tricking them into making a processor that works, thus rendering them incompatible!

4. Hey, buddy, we'd like to see YOU hook up 3.3 million transistors right the first time!

3. Actually, the whole thing's a documentation error. The manual mixed up the opcodes of FDIV with another instruction, FATRA - Floating Point Almost The Right Answer.

2. That's the way it's supposed to work. It's part of our new fuzzy logic support.

1. We don't care. We don't have to. We're INTEL!

Top Ten Excuses Why QT Emulation Didn't Find the Pentium FPU Bug

10) Intel couldn't afford to buy enough QT hardware in order to verify beyond 5 decimal places.

9) Actually did find the problem but didn't want to say anything because, "We're shy."

8) Spent more time verifying QT hardware than Intel hardware.

7) Decided it was more important to verify all the obscure undocumented opcodes that nobody knows about than it was to see if the math was actually correct.

6) Figured if there were any problems with the chip could always fix it by doing a slingshot around the sun and going back in time like in Star Trek.

5) Intel used a 486 PC to check the math on the Pentium emulator.

4) Money Intel spent for QT emulators actually went to buy hookers and booze for Andy Grove.

3) Didn't do an exhaustive check of all the math functions. Got as far as 2 + 2 = 5 and figured that was good enough.

2) Pentium testing consisted mostly of playing tetris until a score of 100,000 was achieved.

1) There was an FPU in that thing?